Vibrationous ...

"Mommy do you know what that sign says?" Arnav pointed to the red 'exit' on his school door.
"No, what does it say?" I of course wanted to hear his view.
"It says Exit, that means 'Get Out' " Arnav explained excitedly. I smothered a smile and 'got out' of the school.

Arnav is now a chatterbox and we call him the "entertainer" in our family. Whenever we feel bored we get Arnav to talk. He sure can pep up spirits and even Manav eggs him on. His sentences bring in endless laughter even in the most serious situations. The other day tension was mounting at the dinner table as the boys were picking on their food and not eating at all despite umpteen reminders. At that instant Arnav chose to walk away from the table. Caunteya asked
"Where do you think you are going Arnav?"
"To the bathroom" Arnav replied with a "where else" shrug
"Is that the way to the bathroom?" Caunteya hollered as Arnav was taking the roundabout way rather than the direct way to the bathroom.
"Yaayyys, you go that way, then that way and then that and then you are there, the bathroom" Arnav said shaking his hands and shoulders for maximum effect.
We tried checking our laughter but ended up breaking into smiles. Just have to mention that after a while Caunteya found Arnav in the toy room instead of the bathroom and after that what happened to Arnav is anybody's guess. Some nerve that little boy has.

They have been learning about American Presidents as it was President's day. Arnav insists Martin Luther King was the President as is "Bawack Obama". He was singing this song
"Georgie Washington (2)
Chopped the cherry tree (3)
And didn't tell his maid"
which prompted me to google it. Did find the cherry tree story about the first President but couldn't find this song. Have to cross check at school.

While discussing the boys' classwork, we pointed out to a sheet where Arnav had scribbled a couple of number 2.
"What is this Arnav?"
"It is supposed to be a 2, but it doesn't look like 2 to me" Arnav is a very honest critic of his own work.

These days in spite of telling him that the past tense of 'sit' is 'sat' and for 'set' it remains 'set' Arnav insists
"Mommy the sun sat"

Sometimes, I serve dinner to the boys and keep munching right out of the serving platter. This happens when Caunteya comes home late and I reserve a plate for myself to eat with him. So I try to make it work in my favor enticing the boys
"Ummmm, this is so good, I just can't stop eating"
until one day Manav said
"Mommy you say that for everything everyday. You just like eating"
And I stopped mid bite, judged the veracity of the sentence, smiled and started munching again.

The other morning, I was very sad to see stark white underpants in the Childrens' Place bag while I had picked up nice character ones for the boys. Looks like the lady at the counter mixed it up. I just didnt have the luxury of another trip to the store so got Manav to use them.
"Mommieee....did YOU bring these for me?" His surprise and glee was evident.
"Yes" I was surprised.
"Thank you so much. They look like Papa's and I love to copy Papa." There you go, now he survives on that lone pack of three white underpants till I get more. No hurry there, laundry once in three days always happens anyways.

Earlier this week Manav missed a couple of days of school as he was sick. We spent quite some quality time together. Read books, went for walks to park, talked, snuggled and took naps. Manav biked to the park one day. He stopped every minute to admire and touch the small flowers peeking at us from the grass.
"Mommy come see the blue bonnets. And these are violets. And there are the sunflowers." Of course none of them were what he claimed but he did identify the birds all right - Blue Jays, Cardinals and Robins. He collected the acorns and put the covers back on them and made them "Men with hat". On the ride back he rested his head on the bike's handle bar and I remarked
"Does that feel nice Manav?"
"Yes, it is very vibrationous" Manav said. Trust him to make up stuff and he does that so unabashedly though he knows there is no such word.

When these kids are separated, they are really nice people to be around. Full of normal fun, well behaved, no irritating silly talk or jumping/running without motive. Its a breeze in the store as it is elsewhere. When they are together they feed on each other's mischiefs and things go exponentially downhill from then on. But then I know the grass is always greener on the other side. I know that they spend endless time together, talking, playing, keeping each other company while sleeping in their room. (While I write this Manav is coloring and Arnav is feeding Manav and himself Maggi)  Making us insane just comes with it and I am not complaining. With these jokers around we never forget to laugh. Why do I have this feeling that the boys feel the same, I mean they too think "With these jokers around we never forget to laugh". Ha Ha Ha...

Happy Valemtime's day....

On left is Arnav's "Love Bug" and the other one is Manav's "Love card". Arnav's "Love Bug" keeps flitting in the air, kissing us intermittently mid-flight. Taking a look at Manav's card Arnav said

"Why is Mommy's heart so small?"  (If you blow up the picture you will see 4 hearts - two big ones - green and red belonging to Manav and Papa respectively while two smaller ones - purple and blue - Arnav's and Mommy's respectively....am sure you won't miss the batman)

"There was no space, that is why" Manav said

I marvelled that Arnav noticed. I always feel Arnav has this special feeling for me, you know kind of a notch above his feelings for Manav and Papa.

"Happy Valemtime's Day" he gurgled to all and we smiled sharing glances. We knew it better than correct Arnav. Sometimes even Manav finds Arnav's baby talks so cute. For the record Manav never quite indulged in baby talk, he sort of always had that "adult" pronunciation, though he still lisps on "t" and "d".

Manav recited this poem from the inside of his card, of course all memorized

"If apples were pears,

And peaches were plums,

And the rose had a different name;

If tigers were bears,

And fingers were thumbs

I'd love you just the same !"

So all the hoopla about Valentine's day came to an end yesterday with bags full of cute valentines and candies. We had a small dinner talk about the real role of heart in our body complete with comparing the heart to a king (in chess of course) and the brain to the queen and how arteries and veins carry blood, delivering oxygen to all organs and all the blah. Manav soaked everything in and I am not sure how much Arnav grasped as he was more focused on the food.

The other night Manav came to our room at 3 AM

"Mommy can you please put some water on my eyes?"

I just lead him back to his bed. He climbed up and said again

"Can you please put water in my eyes?"

"Why Manav? You need to sleep now." I mumbled

"I dont want to close them. I want to keep my eyes open"

"Manav you need to close your eyes to sleep so that your body can mend itself"

"I don't want to dream Mommy" that's when I gathered his nightmares were bothering him again.

Next morning I asked Manav what he dreams usually. He said

"There are police and they take you to cages and bomb you"

"Why cage? And why would a police do that? You didn't do anything wrong"

"It is a dream Mommy. Dreams are not true. And remember police put you in jail? The cages are the jails."

That is when I thought of telling the boys my story of how I dealt with nightmares.

"Listen, I also used to have the same dream every night, when I was a kid. My father said dreams happen so that you get disturbed and remove your hand from the heart so that the heart can pump blood in peace. So if you sleep with your hands by your side and not put them on your chest, there will be no dreams. So I used to sleep with hands below my back, under the pillows or tuck them under the mattress but that didn't help. So dadu (my father) said - while asleep your hands come on the chest and then dreams have to happen. As you cannot control your hands lets try this, when you are dreaming just try to say aloud - 'This is a dream'. And I really tried that and though words wouldn't come out of my mouth when I was dreaming but at least I would wake up."

"So Manav you can say 'Hey that's a flower, not a bomb' when the policeman throws the bomb at you" Caunteya made it even more creative.

and Manav was so tickled, he practised on and on saying the same.

Last night he came to our room saying

"Mommy did you call me?"

"No"

"I heard you calling, so I came here"

"OK" and I felt him climbing in between us. Now, my father didn't tell me anything about handling kids trying to outsmart you. But then Manav really might have though he heard me calling or maybe I did call him in my sleep. Whatever.

Last year when we moved into this house I was complaining of the increased distance to and from the kids' school. Now I wish the distance was longer. I think I had mentioned this before, but car drives are excellent conversation zones. This morning when I was dropping the kids, we started our usual story telling. Arnav came up with this and I can attest this story to be an original. I am not sharing Manav's story here as it was the usual cheetah, python and food web and kind of paled against Arnav's. So here it goes :

"There was a lion, a bird, an elephant and a hummingbird. The elephant and the lion fought and the lion died. The bird was a peacock and he came and poked the elephant on the back. The lion said...."

"But the lion is dead Arnav" I chipped in, listening intently

"Mommy, don't interrupt, please listen. The lion said " I tricked you elephant" he was not actually dead and then ate the elephant for meat. The lion then went to the zoo but it was written there 'No lions' So he w-e-n-t  i-n-t-o a .......(long pause) ......C-A-R !!!!!. "

He had our full attention with his verbalisation and pauses and we started laughing.

"Then did he push Mommy out Arnav? " Manav asked

"Nooo. The lion ate the trees in the car and then started driving. Then there was a red light and he didnt stop and the police caught him. The end"

"What did the humming bird do Arnav?" I asked

"Oh I forgot. The humming bird irritated everyone with his humming" Of course.

"Good job Arnav" And we clapped for him.

Once in their classrooms they just get so wrapped up that they don't even notice me. I have to just fall short of begging them for a goodbye hug. They oblige but with their body turned at an angle towards the other children in the class, eager for me to let go. After the discomfort of being left out I linger a bit more trying to figure out what is there in the class that surpasses me. Thats when it strikes me that it is a futile venture. There is nothing there. It is just that they love the class, their teacher, the friends and the promise of learning and fun filled day. They also love the fact that at the end of the day Mommy will be there to pick them up with a snack in the car and a promise of warm home and more play and learning till they retire for the day with their not so welcome dreams.

Then one fine day (rather not so fine for me) my valentines will spread their wings and fly away and I hope they will stop by mid flight to kiss me intermittently and exchange "I Love you" once in a while. No flowers, surprise dinners, gifts and cards can work the wonders that these words do. Wink Wink !!

Patient....

The battery in the garage remote is weak and takes me several iterations to make it work. Most of the time I am running against time so its very frustrating wasting almost a minute trying to close the garage door, the precious minute I hadn't factored in my calculations. Returning and trying to open the garage door is a shade less frustrating......well we are home.

So yesterday when I was backing out of the garage and simultaneously trying to close the door, I hit the remote multiple times on the dashboard to "reactivate" the battery.
"Your windows or whatever it is will go bad Mommy" Arnav said
"What?" I was confused and the door still wouldn't budge.
"You are hitting the remote on the hard window and it will damage the window and remote" Arnav clarified. He meant the dashboard of course.
" Have you heard of the word "patient"? Manav spoke at last. He is not known to be silent for more than a minute at a time.
"What are you saying Manav?" I was still tinkering with the remote, trying all positions and finally the door started down only to go back up as I had hit the remote again too fast. This is not working at all and I had two preachers in the back seat. I took a deep breath and with a little prayer on my lips hit the remote, this time a little bit more purposefully and slowly. It worked.
"It means waiting for things to happen" Manav continued.
"What? " I had lost the context and was recalculating based off the lost minutes.
"Patient means waiting for things to happen. You should not hit the remote on the dashboard. It is hard. You should wait for it to work after you press it. If it doesnt then you should hit it on your hand or pants, not on the dashboard. The remote will get damaged on the hard surface and all battery will come out and it will not work." Manav rambled on.
"Oh, ok. Thanks Manav. I will try to be patient"
"Good" they both said

Then we drove on and I was more relaxed having finally done my math and made sure I wont be late for gym.
"Why dont we tell stories today? Arnav you start" I said
"OK. Duck and his friends went to the park to play baseball." Arnav started
"Where did they go?" I asked as Arnav's park sounded "Pawk"
"Pawk, pawk. Where kids go to play. There are slides, monkey bars, do you know that?" Arnav clarified.
"Oh, park. OK continue" I smiled.
"The baseball got stuck in the tree. Duck threw the bat to get the ball. The bat went too high. Then duck threw the glove to get the ball. The glove went too low."
"Oh, so the ball was in between the bat and glove on the tree?" Manav asked
"No, the bat was on top, then the ball and then the glove. Then all three of them fell off the tree. Then duck and his friends played baseball. The end" Arnav completed.
"How did the things fall Arnav?" I asked
"Have you heard of the word "gravity" ?" Manav just cannot wait for his turn. This started a "Mommieee I wanted to answer" cry from Arnav and we wasted a couple of minutes gaining status quo.
"OK, Manav's turn to tell a story" I was now getting a bit worked up with the school zone and people driving at less than 20 as there were cops all over.
"There was a person and he wanted to be the queen. "Do you want to be a queen bee or a queen in chess?" "Queen Bee". So he became the queen bee. There was a person who wanted to become a King. "Do you want to be a king bee or a king in chess?" "King bee" So he became the worker as there is no king bee. There was a baby who wanted to be a baby bee. So he became a baby worker as there cannot be a baby queen. Now there were dinosaurs everywhere. The tall brontosaurus thought a little bee cannot do anything to me. He came too near and was stinged by the bee. And all animals were stinged by the bee. So they stayed away from the bees. The end"
"Very good. " and we all clapped. I had made it a point to verify from Ms Foley (Arnav's teacher) if they had been reading about duck playing baseball but haven't yet. It seems too good to be a made up story and I am sure Manav made up his.

The other day Manav was with me on the back seat and unusually quiet. I thought he fell asleep and turned back to check.
"Why are you so quiet?" I asked seeing him wide awake.
"If I talk you cannot drive safely. So I am not talking. We don't want to get in an accident, remember?" he said
That was the only time he was quiet and I didnt ask him why at all other times he chose to make it dangerous for me to drive.

Last morning Arnav woke up with his blue and black batman in his hands. He always goes to bed clutching something. He asked me
" Who do you want to win? Blue batman with sword or black batman?"
"Blue batman" I managed with mouth full of toothpaste.
"Ok, blue batman won" Arnav declared after hitting them against each other, and we both celebrated.
"Arnav, have you forgotten that the blue batman sucks up power with his sword? So he is the good choice and he will always win" Manav said from his bed
Then he asked for the batmen and showed us how blue batman sucks up power using the small hole in his sword. I couldn't help but think how similar this was to my yoga instructor telling us that energy (or prana) is not just inside our body but all around us and we need to understand that. All the energy talk made us hungry and we scampered to the kitchen for some breakfast.

This morning Arnav and I came out in the garage to get in the car while Manav was in the house trying to get something.
"Bye Manav." Arnav said
"Why, he will also come with us to school" I said
"No, we will go. Manav will be leftover" Arnav smiled.
"Left out you mean Arnav" I instinctively corrected and realised he wasn't listening, instead poring over a dead worm which must have come out during the showers last night. They mess up the tenses (always add 'ed' to past tense, hope you didn't miss the 'stinged' earlier in the post) and say weird words. Its fascinating to see how they pick up a language and apply some logic in making up new words which might not be legitimate and instantly pick up the corrected word as well. Arnav continues to struggle with his 'r' but has a good size vocabulary now while Manav continues to ace with his language and math. Or so I think.

A few days back, while driving to school, I said
"Boys you need to keep quiet. Lets all listen to the news today" I have to have innovative ways to minimize or guide backseat chatter. Lest you start oohing and aahing on my innovation prowess, let me add that oftentimes the innovation is as blunt as "Please keep your mouth shut".
"OK" they said
Gene and Julie at 103.7 FM were talking about how a TSA agent was arrested at the DFW airport as he was caught stealing passengers' iPads. After listening a bit,
"Thank God our iPad is at home and not at the airport. It would have been stolen as well and we cannot play chess or fruit game anymore " Manav concluded and made me wonder whether he really believes what he said. Are things really that simple for a kid, an almost 5 year old?

So when do things start to get complicated? When will he start applying the logic that even if the iPad was at the airport it stood a chance of not being stolen and if it is at home it still stood a chance of being stolen? When do their short simple "subject-predicate" sentences start getting heavy with adverbs, adjectives, gerunds, conjunctions and other parts of speech? Just as their life will change from the primary shades of black and white to different shades of gray but I hope they will continue to see the world in its beautiful colors and marvel at its creations. Enjoy its simplicity and respect the complications.

Have you heard of the word "patient"?

Controll ...

Manav drew this food web yesterday while I was making dinner. You may have to blow up the picture for making out what he did. Though his drawing is pretty self explanatory (well it is for a 4 year old :-), I printed the names of the animals/predators/producers in the food chain (oops web, he was adamant I call it web and not chain) so that there is no ambiguity. I loved the fact that we as a family were a part of the food web, eating a cherry (producer as Manav would say). If you are still wondering what that brown tripod is, well it is a wooden board supported by three legs.

Then his father walked in (pretty late) while we were almost finishing dinner and Manav said

"Nice of you to stop by Papa. Nice to meet you" in a mock ambivalent tone.

"Sab tumhari ma ne sikhaya hoga" Caunteya said

I swear I didnt teach anything of that sort ever.

"There is nice alu and roti Papa" Arnav said

When it was time for dessert (I wanted to sound as if it is a normal affair in the Parekh household, but you know the truth), I declared the halwa and the boys were thrilled. When they looked at the halwa (they were expecting suji ka whitish/brownish halwa while this was baadam ka dark brown halwa) they lost some of that excitement though. Manav made up the situation by sniffing at the halwa and declaring

"It is chocolate halwa, lets eat it"

I served some to Arnav and he took a spoonful. While he was chewing both me and Caunteya went 

"Yummy....isn't it yummy Arnav?"

Meanwhile Manav had a little bit from Arnav's plate, while Arnav was still contemplating the taste.

"I don't like the halwa. Papa said everyone has different taste. While Papa loves the halwa I don't. " Manav said

"I don't like it either" Arnav the "copy-cat, smelly-rat" said

So Manav is a very rule oriented guy. One has to be very careful to lay out rules for him, coz when he is convinced about a rule he becomes a stickler. He will not budge and in that process make your life a bit hard to say the least.

Last night I declared with a flourish after brushing

"No gel today Manav." thinking he would be glad to skip a step to the dreary nighttime brush routine. Was I mistaken.

"Oh Mommy, why? Now my teeth will have no protection. The germs will get into them all night and make cavities." he was truly concerned

"Its fine Manav. Just that I am very tired and so is Papa. Sometimes you need to let the teeth deal with the germs. Arming them with protection every night makes them lazy" I sounded pretty lame.

"But Mommy....." he started his signature whine

"Listen Manav, you need to sleep happy. If you are whiny and sad when you go to sleep you will dream sad dreams, if you are happy and smiling, the dreams will be good. Just like the chocolate mountains and milky fountains and M&M grass you like dreaming about."

That seemed to convince him and he had this artificial smile on his face when he settled down in bed.

Then he came into my room and said

"Mommy I slept happy but still I had a sad dream" and I urged him to climb up in our bed.

I remember checking the clock - 5:45 AM. Thanked my stars that he didnt look at the clock. Had he then just like the other day he would have gone back to his room saying

"But it is still not 6 o'clock, I cannot sleep on your bed"

So when I bend the rules and try to make them appear favorable to him he gives me back. Sometimes I buckle him and just dont have the strength to put on the bottom belt, Manav is quick to remind me

"Remember seat belts save lives in an accident. You forgot the bottom belt Mommy"

So most of the times I am making rules and selling them to the boys while rest of the time Manav is reminding me to follow them. Arnav always does what Manav does anyways, so that makes it two of them. Who needs a policeman around ? But then neither do I need my 4 year old around telling me

"Mommy don't eat candies. They are not good for your teeth, besides they don't have fiber"

Yesterday we were picking books for bedtime. Manav said he will read the "Three little pig and the big bad wolf" while Arnav wanted to read "Three Billy Goats Gruff". So while still eating dinner the boys wanted to tell the stories in their own words before I read them at bedtime. Manav did an OK job and Arnav said

"Remember when the goat came on the bridge and there was the ugly control?"

"What? control? " we were surprised

"Yes, the ugly control who wanted to eat the goat?" Arnav reiterated

Thats when we realized he meant the ugly Troll. Any amount of coaxing couldn't make Arnav say troll instead of control.

Last friday as I was picking them up Arnav was invited by his teacher to pick up his treasure. Its a box of knick-knacks from which the kids get to pick on a Friday evening. Ms Foley (his teacher) said

"Manav you can pick one too, if you like"

'Manav is a big boy, he doesnt need treasures, right Manav?" I said

"I want a treasure too" said Manav

So Arnav picked a small red frog and a blue one, when I reminded he needs to pick only one. Reluctantly he let the blue one go. Manav picked up the blue one.

Once back in the car, Manav handed over the blue frog to Arnav. 

"Thanks Manav. Thats so sweet of you to share with Arnav" I said

"No Mommy. I tricked Ms Foley. I am a big boy and I don't need treasures, but I picked up one so Arnav can have 2 frogs. Here you go Arnav"

I let this very teachable moment go. Just didn't know how to handle it.

So there are many many teachable moments in a parents life. But what outnumbers them are the "being taught" moments. These kids teach you each and every moment you spend with them. When I say spend with them, I mean exclusive time without breaks for TV, phone or computer. These breaks kind of dilute the moments and make them less satisfying. Kids learn a lot but they teach a lot more during such moments. Alas, moments they are, not a lifetime. Kids grow up in a heartbeat and then both parties become hardened to the lessons they can still learn from each other but don't. So seize the moments and teach and let teach.

Allegiance to Pennies - Arnav shining

Yesterday when I picked up the kids, Ms Foley (Arnav's teacher) proudly conveyed that Arnav knows his pledge of allegiance very well. No prompting required.

This was the second time that I got specific achievement related pointers for Arnav. For Manav it is almost a daily affair so I don't quite pay attention. He already gets extra homework and reading from his preschool. Gosh I am bragging.

Coming back to Arnav, so first time Ms. Foley said
"Arnav knows all his coins. He picked up the pennies, dimes, quarters....and identified them correctly. I didn't have to give him any clues"
I nodded a "Thanks" and dismissed this as Arnav's Gujju genes(Gujaratis are known for their business acumen aka money).

At night Papa had to hear the pledge of allegiance and Arnav was really good at it. We all clapped and then Caunteya said
"You have to listen to the Indian Pledge" and started singing 'Jana Gana Mana'
"Papa why is your pledge so long and why is it a song?" Manav asked
Caunteya continued with a high "Jaya hey Jaya hey ......"
I stopped the entire flow with
"Caunteya that is not our pledge. It is our national anthem, just like Star-Spangled Banner"
"Then what is our pledge?" Caunteya asked
"Something like  'All Indians are our brothers and sisters'....remember we used to say that everyday at school?" I said
"Well not in ours" he said and continued singing Jana Gana Mana. I vowed to teach the kids the real Indian Pledge.

We were having our dinner when Arnav said
"Do you know why we need to eat roti?"
"Why?"
"Because it has vitamin C" Arnav declared triumphantly
"Do you know which food has all the vitamins?" Arnav asked again
"No, which one?"
"It is a secret. I cannot tell you" Arnav flashed his conspiratorial smile.
"That means, you don't know either" Caunteya laughed.
Then we started discussing vitamins. Now we need to tread very cautiously and rattle only true nutrition value of food and not
"Mushrooms help us smell better" , " Eggplant helps the food go down the throat easily"
the way we sell food to Manav. Arnav is fine with or without marketing, he eats ok.
Hence we had to google Vitamin K's uses and also look up which food has Vitamin K. So much for learning our sixth standard science chapter all over again.

Arnav was saying his "Humpty Dumpty" and after finishing he said
"Do you know why they couldn't put him together again?"
"Why?"
"Because he is an egg. And eggs are fragile. Once they break the things come out. You cannot put it back in."
And this morning he said the same thing but added
"Eggs have albumem (albumen)"

We had a bit of confusion this morning and both me and Caunteya ended up putting sugar in the tea so we had extra sweet tea. While we were explaining that to the kids
"When we put sugar in water can we see the sugar?"
"No"
"Why?"
"Because it melts" Arnav said
"So that is what happened. Mommy put the sugar, it melted, Papa couldn't see the sugar so he put in some more"
"We can make some sugar which comes as a big white ball and doesn't melt. Then when we see that in water we will not put any more" Manav always has a solution. I have been thinking that kids should be there in the innovation teams of companies. Maybe they already are, who knows.

Since we got the bunk beds assembled ( we had the beds separate as single beds all this time) Arnav has been having trouble sleeping
"I cannot see Manav. He needs to be next to me" or sometimes
"I want to sleep upstairs. You always make me sleep downstairs"
Yesterday when I went to say goodnight to him I told him
"See I can cuddle with you here as you are downstairs while I cannot do that for Manav. I just kiss him goodnight"
"Mommy I want to sleep with you in your bed. I am scared sleeping here" Arnav started
I gave him the usual reasons and said
"You can come into our bed after 6 AM, you know that" they check the time on our bedside digital clock and act likewise.
"Mommy you know what, you can sleep in my bed anytime. You don't have to see the time" and snuggled closer to me. An invitation I just couldn't resist but did and am still laden with guilt.

Guilt trips are common in parenthood. I do things that I know are not right, just because I cannot take it any more and then feel guilty as I couldn't handle the situation effectively.
"I hate it when they come to our room and hate it when they don't come at all" I said to Caunteya last night while dozing off.
That kind of sums up the feeling, if you know what I mean.